


Savior Sorrow

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Imprisonment, M/M, Regan Week 2018, Slow Burn, Swearing, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-08-27
Packaged: 2019-06-26 23:58:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Negan had always been good at reading people. But Rick Grimes – hell, Rick Grimes was a riddle he couldn’t work out.





	Savior Sorrow

**Author's Note:**

> A series of ficlets for Regan Week. These take place from the fight scene in 8.16. Some comic Negan has been thrown into the mix.

It was those goddamn blue eyes. Ultimately, they were Negan’s downfall.

If only he’d kept talking, kept getting under Rick’s skin. Then, things might’ve been different.

He just had to look at him, had to get lost in the damn moment. In those precious few seconds during their confrontation, Negan allowed himself to see Rick Grimes as a man and not as his enemy – and hell, he even began to fantasize about the goddamn utopia he was describing.

Too bad it was all a fucking ruse.

Negan never saw the deathblow coming. He felt it immediately of course – the way Rick, that sly son of a bitch, smoothly sliced the knife across his throat, and how the pain scorched like fire. His blood poured onto his hands so liberally, like it was desperate to leave his sorry body.

_I’ll get out of it; I always do,_ he told himself.

But Negan knew he was balls deep into this thing. He was not going to save the world. Not this time.

As his vision blurred and his limbs weakened, he felt something he’d not experienced since Lucille lay dying in her hospital bed.

_Fear_.

He was not ready to leave the world this way, lying under an ancient tree that stood over him like a noble giant, judging his final battle.

He was not ready to concede defeat to Rick Grimes.

Turned out he didn’t have much choice in the matter.

–

Time stood still. The world was mostly black.

Sometimes, Negan thought he heard voices. Sometimes, there was pain. More often there was nothing.

He was pretty sure he was stuck somewhere between dead and alive, trapped in a personal hell. But Negan had saved people. He’d fed them, given them jobs, forged a whole new goddamn society out of nothing. People like Negan didn’t _deserve_ to go to hell.

Wherever he was, it felt hotter than the fire pit back at the Sanctuary.

–

Something cold was being pressed against his head. Negan fought to push it away.

“Siddiq! He’s wakin’ up.”

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_. Negan knew that voice only too well, and he couldn’t so much as squirm out of Rick Grimes’ grip on him.

Yep. This was hell. Had to be.

Some kid shone a torch into his eyes. Negan’s temples began to throb with an impending migraine.

“How’s he doin’?” Rick asked.

“He isn’t out of the woods yet. But the signs are good.”

Negan stared into space as the kid moved away. Things were beginning to come into focus now – and damn, the reality was bleak. The room he was in must have been a makeshift medical wing – aged bottles of pills and first-aid equipment littered the walls and shelves that surrounded him. Negan was strapped down to the cheap, wooden bed. He couldn’t have moved, even if he’d wanted to.

“You got nothin’ to say for yourself?” Rick spat the words out bitterly, looking in Negan’s direction. “Makes a damn change.”

“Hey, go easy on him.” The kid intervened, resting a hand on Rick’s chest. He had guts. Negan would give him that, at least.

“I don’t have a damn thing to say to you.” It took Negan’s strength to make a comeback, and it wasn’t even that darn witty. He was almost ashamed of himself.

“Rick, he needs to rest now.”

Negan’s face remained expressionless.

“Fine.” Rick folded his arms, his face reddening. “But I’ll be back in the mornin’.”

Negan slammed his eyes shut long before Rick sauntered out of the room.

–

Negan drifted in and out of consciousness. Only the kid (the group’s doctor, Negan learned) came by to check on him during the night.

“What’s your name?” Negan croaked, his throat painfully dry and sore.

“Siddiq,” he replied, before placing a thermometer in Negan’s mouth. A few minutes later he sighed as he looked at the numbers.

“Something wrong?” Negan asked.

“Your fever is coming down,” Siddiq said quietly.

“That’s not a good thing?”

“It’s good for your health. It’s just…”

“It’s just what?” Negan shifted uncomfortably against his restraints.

“It’s just when Rick comes back here in the morning, I’ll no longer have the power to stop him from doing whatever he wants to you.” Siddiq chewed his lower lip.

Negan’s blood ran cold.

–

“I know you’re awake.”

“Never said I wasn’t.”

Negan blinked and found Rick’s ocean blue eyes staring back at him. His adversary looked ten years older than when he’d slit Negan’s throat open. Rick’s salt-and-pepper beard was ungroomed, and dark circles gave away the fact he’d not seen a proper night’s sleep in a long time. Negan thought about Carl, and his heart grew heavy.

“Why didn’t you just let me die?” Negan whispered, licking his lips as if to tempt to Rick into having another shot at killing him.

Rick shook his head and put his hands on his hips. “It wasn’t what Carl wanted.”

“Carl isn’t here.” It was a low blow, even for Negan. The cruel words made his chest ache.

“Death is too good for you,” Rick growled. There was a feral quality about him, as though recent events had ravaged the last of his humanity. Negan did not like it at all.

“So, what now?” Negan asked, swallowing hard.

“I’m not gonna kill you. I’m not gonna hurt you at all. I’m gonna keep you alive, make you watch what we become. We’re gonna thrive, and you’re gonna be there to witness it all.”

Bile began to rise in Negan’s throat. The idea of such an existence made him sick.

“You’re gonna rot in jail for the rest of your life, Negan,” Rick said through gritted teeth.

Negan’s heart pounded in his chest. He almost willed it to stop beating altogether.


End file.
